‘Anticipate the difficult by managing the easy.’ ~Lao Tzu

This blog was meant to have been filled up with posts by now. That’s how it always has gone with me. With a clear, glossy picture in my mind of some beautiful thing I want to achieve; I set out, chin held high and dive into it. After a time I lose that drive, the motivation is drained from me. I fizzle out.I suppose this is normal to some degree. But not like this. This isn’t quitting so much as losing purpose. It is forgetting why I started.  

I’ve lamented in the past, and I’ve been lost in my fantasies of the future. Now is the time to be accountable. When the real action must be done at this moment. Not someday, today…everyday.

I’ve had this ever-present struggle, this conflict between idealism verses pragmatism. In other words I’ve had the interesting ideas, or queries if you will, but not always fulfilled into the action that follows those initial thoughts.

The goal is to act with purpose instead of constantly overthinking. I found I have not been conducting myself in the way I wish. To act effectively on my values.  I want to be the best version of myself. To be whole. To be authentic. To make the thought with action.

I will prove to myself I can be competent. Discipline is what I need. I’ve started a personal development journey. I am done being the old version of me, who reads half a book. Who didn’t keep his word when it meant a lot. I will strive to find, and embody, the values I care about. To choose the wholesome meal and remove the fluff.

It won’t be easy but it’ll be worth it.

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